I'd had same glasses for several years--four years? Five?--and styles change, so when I went to pick out new frames the optician suggested I needed a new look.
"Styles are bolder today," she said. "You should think about making a statement."
I decided to go for this look:
Unfortunately, when I picked up the new specs on Friday I realized the statement I would be making was "Yo! If it were 2003 I'd look really cool, but instead I look like the kind of person who says 'Yo!' And also, the only person over 30 who can pull this look off is Tina Fey and you, doofus-face, are no Tina Fey."
This impression has been underscored and bold-faced by the reactions of those who know me and cannot avoid seeing the mistake on my face. So far every single person who has commented on the frames has done so in that way that makes you thank their mother for reminding them to not say anything at all if they can't say anything nice.
"Oh! You look...studious." and "Huh! Very...academic." "New glasses? It's always kind of a shock to have a new look, isn't it?"
Well, MomQueenBee, you are thinking, just wear your old glasses.
Unfortunately, the new pair has a slightly changed prescription, and even though I don't really like the way I'm looking, I like very much the way I'm seeing.
When I told Boy#1 about my glasses, he thoughtfully provided links to some folks whose choices in eye wear were even worse than my own. There's former Kansas City Chiefs head coach Gunther Cunningham, for example. The actual caption under this picture was "It was only after he left Kansas City that Gunther Cunningham was told his yellow glasses did not give him special coaching powers."
I think I'll steer clear of my boss today.